How to Be Good at Shopping, No. 1

"I Like It" vs "I Like It For Me"

Being good at shopping is a skill, and there are a few core ideas that have helped me become a better shopper. When I say better, I don’t mean finding the coolest, trendiest pieces, or getting the best deal. I mean shopping in ways that feel good, in ways that make sense for me, and in ways that result in spending my time and money on things that I really like to wear. Being a better shopper means wasting less money, less impulse buying, less disappointment from online purchases, and fewer regretful purchases that I don’t end up wearing.

A "good buy" is whatever you love and wear. Two of my best ever purchases are colorful, bold, and somewhat impractical - a floral bed jacket and a sheer pleated skirt. As you can see, I've gotten a lot of wear out of both, often together!

Thought #1: Do I like this for me?

We all know that shopping secondhand is more sustainable than buying new. And while participating in a circular economy is great, and exciting, it also comes with its own set of pitfalls. The one-of-one qualities that makes vintage so special can encourage us to shop in ways that aren’t the most thoughtful. We’ve all been there. 

If I don’t buy this now, I may never find it again.

I’m not sure I love it, but it’s thrifted and cheap, so why not?

If I don’t end up wearing it, I can just resell it.

This isn’t a perfect fit, but it’s not like I can just buy another size.

Sure, some of these things are true. But these same excuses can also lead to a closet full of pieces that look great, but just don’t actually feel great on. The urgency and perceived sustainability of secondhand can lead to overconsumption and impulse buys just like shopping new, and it can be really hard to step away from something special. And here’s the thing with vintage: it’s all special! That’s one of the best things about it. But when you’re constantly faced with special, and rare, and one-of-a-kind, how are you supposed to know when to buy and when to pass?

The first piece of advice I’m going to share is something seems so simple, but has seriously changed my outlook. I saw it somewhere online about two years ago, and I really wish I remembered who shared the sentiment, because I’d love to thank them. The basic idea was to question whether you liked a garment for yourself to wear, or if you just liked a garment. This sounds obvious, but was honestly a bit of a lightbulb moment for me, and I’ve spent a lot of time since thinking about how many layers there really are to this.

Here’s how I’ve broken it down.