I Found the Perfect Boatneck Tank Top... In My Own Closet
Why thrifting so-called old lady clothes beats fast fashion every time
Being obsessed with vintage does not mean being immune to ads.
Every once in a while, a perfectly targeted fast fashion advertisement crosses my feed, dazzling my lizard brain with pretty colors and a lot of photoshop. I usually forget about giant ocean garbage patches and horrific factory working conditions just long enough to click my way forward. Thankfully, these days, I never make it as far as add to cart. If there’s one thing I can guarantee myself when I shop fast fashion, it’s disappointment. There’s a very good chance that the garment itself will suck, terribly constructed and nowhere near as mesmerizing as it looked (pinned/tailored/edited) online. There’s an even better chance that the purchase will make me feel like crap. I’ll wear it either way, more likely out of guilt than actual satisfaction, and pray that nobody asks me where it’s from.
I was recently sucked in by an ad for a tank top from a long-running fast fashion brand. Said brand was actually my first ever retail job as a teenager in the 2000’s. Much of my 18th year was spent folding (and refolding, and refolding, and refolding…) shirts, cleaning up at least three different kinds of bodily fluids (no, I will not say which three), and listening to the same unbearable playlist on a too-short loop. The mesmerizing tank top I recently stumbled across was really no different than any other tank top out there, but with a perfect, high boat neck that skimmed shoulder to shoulder with a kind of elegance I suddenly needed in my wardrobe immediately.
Thankfully, I’m a secondhand pro. I cracked my digital knuckles and dove into a fervent search, swiftingly typing in search terms like “boat neck” “boatneck” (you have to cover your bases) “bateau” and even “wide neck” just in case.
And… nothing. Even a full day of in-person thrifting yielded me no results, mainly just pointing me back to other crappy fast fashion items or tops that simply weren’t in the right size or style. I was disappointed in my (rare) fruitless secondhand search.
Of course, I already have plenty of perfectly good tank tops. Most are secondhand, with the except of the few I’ve purchased new over the years from Kotn, like this cotton racerback. Two of my sexiest options are the same style from an old-lady-ish mall brand, thrifted in two different colors for just a few dollars each. I was drawn to them for their drape and texture - the cut is nice, but nothing groundbreaking. I recently pulled one out of my dresser and, for just a moment, thought I was looking at the neckline I was dreaming of. I was actually just holding the tank top backwards.
But wait. Did that mean…?
Had my seemingly basic tanks been hiding the perfect clavicle-grazing neckline behind me the whole time? I quickly snipped the neck tag and slipped it on backwards.
And it was perfect.
And the boatneck tank of my dreams that had suddenly emerged from my own closet was from none other than
