Before this summer, I hadn’t worn low rise anything in at least 15 years.
Being a teenager in the 2000’s meant coming of age in the era of whale tails, tramp stamps, and distressed cutoffs with comically short zippers. It was a reflex to drift a hand over my lower back every time I sat down to make sure my butt crack wasn’t showing. The single-digit rises of my adolescence required too many thongs and meticulous pube maintenance, both things I had grown very weary of by my early 20’s. I wholeheartedly embraced the “mom jeans” trend of the 2010’s, comforted by the feeling of my stomach cradled in stiff denim, and never looked back.
Or so I thought.
Since getting pregnant, my increasingly large belly has other plans. Actually, so do my calves, my boobs, my fingers (?!) and a bunch of other body parts I clearly hadn’t given enough thought to prior. Obviously my pleat front trousers and 50’s fit-and-flare dresses don’t fit. But the rest of it? Slightly less obvious…
Surprise #1: I’ve said goodbye (for now) to my beloved high-rise bottoms.
A large swathe of my go-to wardrobe pieces were put out of rotation as soon as my stomach started to pop at around 12 weeks. My favorite side-zipper skirts are patiently waiting for a 29” waist that may or may not be mine someday in the future. While I’m obviously hopeful I can eventually return to wearing some of my favorite one-of-a-kind vintage pieces, I’m also accepting the very real possibility that I may never fit into the same size that I did before a baby. And that’s okay! This entire experience is transformative, and that may include letting go of things I once loved.
Surprise #2: I really like having my stomach out!
I’ve always been a fan of a little crop top, but they feel (and look) pretty different paired with high rise bottoms. The sliver of torso I’m comfortable showing is usually somewhere around my true waist, only occasionally going as low as to reveal my belly button.
But these days, I often prefer to have it all hanging out.
First of all, it just feels good. Summer in the city is hot as fuck, and anything tight on my belly feels suffocating. Secondly, there is a special kind of freedom in not thinking about having a flat (ish) stomach. I’ve honestly been pretty comfortable in my body in my 30’s, but despite my relative confidence I still find it hard to sit down to dinner in a crop top without fending off at least one errant thought about sucking in or sitting up straighter.
But maybe most importantly, having my stomach out pisses people off. Surprise #2A is the absolute death stares I’ve found myself receiving almost exclusively from older women. Most people simply don’t notice or give a fuck (we’re in New York City), while women around my age and younger have been really sweet and complimentary. But the old women? Very unhappy and deeply judgemental.
I’ve been thinking a lot about it these past couple of months, and I think it’s a toxic combination of prudishness, fatphobia, and bitter sadness. I think many women are simply conditioned to reject seeing any non-normative body parts on display, and a stomach that’s large for any reason is considered something that shouldn’t be shown. I also think some women of older generations probably feel a subconscious sadness (and maybe jealousy?) at being pregnant themselves during a much less accepting time. Pregnancy has long been something women were told to cover up, so seeing women happily showing off may serve as a harsh reminder of a freer world they never got to experience.
I try my best to be forgiving, but part of me also delights a little at getting horrified looks. Suck it, grandma.
Surprise #3: It’s not just clothes… my accessories don’t fit either.
I expected a lot of my clothes to stop fitting. I did not expect to outgrow my rings.
My extremities always swell quite a bit in hot weather (poor circulation), so it isn’t unusual for my rings to be a little stuck on at the end of a long summer day. But I’m swelling wayyyy more than usual now, and my engagement ring has become alarmingly tight on multiple occasions. I’m now (reluctantly) leaving my perfect, post-Victorian sapphire ring at home on days that I know I’ll get really hot and puffy.
I wear the same jewelry almost every day, it’s a core part of my style, so it’s been an unexpected disappointment to have to leave my ring behind so often.
Very early on in my pregnancy, I was also shocked to slip on my favorite pair of tall leather boots to find that the zipper stopped halfway up my calf. I wasn’t showing at all yet! I didn’t feel like I looked any different, but my boots were telling another story.
Going up a shoe size was actually one of my big fears around pregnancy. Finding cute shoes in a size 10 is already inconvenient, so the thought of (maybe permanently!) becoming 10.5 or 11 is something I’d sort of desperately like to avoid. The thought of outgrowing my entire shoe collection is, frankly, the stuff of nightmares. Thank god my shoes are still fitting on my feet just fine, so the boots thing was definitely an unpleasant surprise.
I’m curious whether they’ll be more wearable when it’s cooler as I’ll be slightly less swollen, or if the third trimester will keep me plump in the legs regardless. Thankfully I have two pairs of cowboy boots with a lot more room in the calves, so I’m not completely out of options come fall.
