OxiClean Left Me on Read

Live, Laugh, Oxygen Bleach

If only the title of this was actually a joke. But no, it’s just the sad reality of a vintage-obsessed 32-year-old looking for validation, free product, and an affiliate code from a household products conglomerate. I’ve reached out via Instagram DM and (multiple) emails to profess my love to OxiClean, and have never gotten so much as a heart back. Dejected? Yes. Willing to give up on Oxi? Never.

The kind of top-notch marketing materials Oxi is missing out on

When it comes to tough stains, ridiculously dirty clothes, and horrendous smells, nothing has worked for me the way OxiClean has. It literally sounds like I’m quoting a commercial, but I’m really that down bad. I’ve used OxiClean to whiten the dingiest t-shirts, revive the crustiest dresses, and resurrect a fabulous lurex disco set that was haunted by the vengeful spirit of 10,000 cigarettes. (Cut me my check, I beg of you)

A note: I’ll be referring to Oxiclean as Oxi for the rest of this letter. Partially to save time and space, but mostly to feed into my delusion that we’re on nickname basis.

So what exactly is OxiClean?

OxiClean is the brand name for an oxygen bleach product. When most people talk about bleach, they’re referring to chlorine bleach, the pool-water-scented jug of liquid your parents probably used. I do think chlorine bleach still has its place in the laundry room, but it also has a lot of downsides. Chlorine bleach breaks down chemical bonds in your garments, which can damage the fibers of your clothing, and (as we all know) can result in some pretty unfortunate laundry mishaps.

Unlike chlorine bleach, oxygen bleach relies on the much gentler sodium percarbonate. OxiClean is a mix of basically solid hydrogen peroxide, washing soda, and surfactants. Adding hot water releases oxygen to the mixture, which is the main method in which your stains and dirt are being lifted. OxiClean is much less harsh than chlorine bleach, is non-toxic, and is safe to use on colors.

A beautiful but very discolored 1950's cotton dress before, during, and after an OxiClean treatment. She went in completely brown across the shoulders, and came out the next day looking as crisp as ever!

Before we start, there are some ground rules!